Monday, August 2, 2010

"Wayan once told me that sometimes when she's healing her patients she
becomes an open pipeline for God's love, and she ceases even thinking
about what needs to be done next. The intellect stops, the intuition
rises and all she has to do is permit her God-ness to flow through her.
She says 'It feels like a wind comes and takes my hands.'"
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

I have been reading this book the past several days and today it hit me why I am enjoying it so much. This woman's journey, through relationship, and spiritual seeking, and Italy...she is beautiful and funny and honest.

Reading this description of a healer's experience with healing took my breath away and made me weep openly. I too have experienced "this wind that comes and takes my hands." Moments of complete openness and trust in a divinity that touches heart and body and soul.

I love that my life has meandered through places and moments. That I can draw upon those moments at will and remember the beauty and richness of assisting a friend stay open and present when she wanted to shut down, or the sheer joy of a hug at my children's graduations, or the depth of sadness as I held my mother's hand at her mother's funeral. These are the stuff that remind me that God is real and moves through us when we let that wind blow.

My work of the past few years has been about managing people and finances and resources. It has been full of numbers and policies and procedures. It has also been about remembering to breathe and to let God in, even to the numbers, even to the stuff that feels so concrete and unmoving. I have been working very hard to prove myself worthy in my position. To show higher ups that they can trust my judgment.

And yet, that same wind blows here too, when I let it.